


The Feeling of Freedom

by nerdyarts



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Gen, HYDRA sucks, Hydra (Marvel), Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, POV Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27824956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyarts/pseuds/nerdyarts
Summary: Bucky Barnes is free from Hydra and that should be a great thing, so why doesn't he feel better.Natasha isn't really sure how this whole friendship thing is supposed to work but that isn't going to stop her from trying.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 8





	The Feeling of Freedom

Thirteen days, that's how long it's been since Bucky came to live at the tower. Thirteen days since Steve and Tony had their massive screaming match that I was forced to put an end to. Thirteen days since I reminded Tony that I was a monster too. That Bucky wasn't the only one with innocent blood on his hands, I had orphaned children too. I reminded Tony that he didn't know what it felt like to have his brain scrambled. Didn't know what it was like to be made into a weapon.

Bucky doesn't remember me from before. Well, he remembers the bullet he put through my stomach, but that doesn't count. Despite everything, he actually trusts me. People don't trust me. I'm a spy and an assassin. I've made a career out of lying and killing. People don't trust me. People shouldn't trust me. Yet Bucky does.

Bucky's sitting alone at the counter. His shoulders are slumped and he's staring off in the distance. He looks exhausted. I make more noise than necessary as I walk into the kitchen. Bucky turns his head to look at me but he doesn't say a word.

"Coffee?" I ask as a way of greeting, even though I'm already flipping the machine on.

I get a half shrug as a response. It's definitely a bad morning for Bucky. That's not exactly a rarity, but it is strange that Steve would leave him alone for one. I perch on counter as I wait for the coffee to brew. I don't speak. There's nothing I can say to make this any easier. So, I sit and wait for the coffee to brew and I watch Bucky out of the corner of my eye and he pretends to not notice my watching and neither of us speaks.

Eventually the coffee is done and I pour two mugs, "Cream or sugar?".

"No thanks", his voice is rough and quiet.

I slide one of the cups his way and sit back down. He doesn't say anything else and neither do I. We drink our coffee in silence.

I take both mugs to the sink and begin to wash them by hand, even though Stark has a fancy dishwasher he keeps telling me to use. I made sure to only take Bucky's mug after he pushed it towards me, He's never snapped at anyone for taking something of his, but I remember what it was like when I first got out. It felt like everything could be snatched away from me in a second. The last thing I want to do is make him feel anymore unstable.

The sound of Bucky's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Freedom doesn't feel the way I thought it would" he sounds shakier then I've ever heard him.

I feel my shoulders stiffen. Bucky's upset. Bucky's upset and I'm the one he's chosen to talk to. For once I don't know what to do. I know how to lie and steal and kill. I have no clue how to comfort someone, but I can't keep quiet. I take a deep breath and turn to face him. "What did you think it would feel like?" I try to keep my voice light, mimicking the way Clint talked to me in the beginning.

I get a jerky shrug in response. He's staring at the table, avoiding all eye contact. His hands are clenched into fists, and there's a slight tremor in his human hand.

I dry my hands on my jeans and perch on the counter next to Bucky. "I'm guessing you thought that getting out was the hard part, but now you're out and nothing feels okay". He gives me a short nod and even though I have no clue what I'm doing, I don't seem to be making things worse so, I keep going. "Getting out isn't the hard part, learning how to live after is. Everything's gonna feel really bad for a while, but you will get through it". I cut myself off before my voice can shake. I'm not the one who's allowed to be upset.

He looks up at me. His eyes are tired and he's still afraid, but he's relaxed his fists and he's looking at me, so we've made progress.

"You're going to be okay". I say one last time as I jump down from the counter. "Now, Stark made some new training dummies and I made a bet with Barton about how long it'll take before they get destroyed. You are going to help me win".

Bucky rolls his eyes at me but there's a trace of a smile on his face as he trails behind me. Things might not be okay now, but they'll get there. I will make sure of it.


End file.
